Can you imagine having a part of your brain you can't explain and also can't control? No matter how hard you try, this part of your brain always seems like that little devil on your shoulder telling you everything is NOT okay. This little devil pops up at the worst times and effects your every day life. This little devil has the name of Anxiety. Someone who does not have this devil doesn't fully understand the struggles coming with it. You can try your hardest and put yourself in someones shoes, but unless you have the mini companion in your life you can't get that full understanding. 25% of all teens in the US have this companion. Some have it for specific things, such as being social with people and finding themselves too nervous to speak at times. Someone may have it for worrying a loved one may be hurt or injured. Anxiety can show up absolutely anywhere.
I'm Ashley Couch and I struggle from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. First things first I want to say that I am in no way making this blog to have sympathy shown to me. I am here to share my story in hope that people can realize they are not alone in this anxiety filled life. It's so easy to feel as if you're crazy and nobody else is like this, but I cannot stress enough how you are not alone. I also am here to show people what it is like living with anxiety. As I said before, it's impossible to fully understand; but I hope this blog will make it a little easier. Another reasoning for this is for my benefit of being able to try my best to talk through how I am feeling. I find it easier for me to write things down rather than explain out loud. I've always enjoyed writing and have always wanted to pursue it in my future, so I guess this is my first step towards that.
So here's a little bit about me! I am going to be a Senior in high school this year at Glencoe. I have been on the school's varsity tennis team for the past two years, going into my third. I take classes in school such as health sciences and anatomy because I love to learn about how the body works. I absolutely hate history class because I am not the type of person to just take in information and remember it, so it's hard for me to study and understand. I enjoy being out with friends and trying new things. I am also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, better known as "Mormon". My religion is everything to me and I cannot imagine living without it.
Recently I have taken on some new hobbies, such as painting, baking and riding horses. My family lives in California and I have been living here with them for this past summer. We are blessed to live on a farm and enjoy the experiences that come with that. My family moved here in January of 2018, but I stayed behind in Oregon. The reasoning for this is because of all the relationships and my school I have in Oregon. I also am almost done with my schooling and want to graduate with the class I have grown to love. My family is 100% supportive with this decision I have made with them. I lived with a family who we knew from church who were very kind to me for the past 6 months. I fly down frequently back to California every chance I get to spend time with my family.
Living away from my family is definitely not the easiest thing I have done. In fact, it's probably the hardest challenge I have had in my life so far. I have to do my own driving anywhere I go, do my own shopping, handle my own doctor appointments, etc. It can be hard at times to remind myself that even though it may not seem worth it at the moment, in the future it will make more sense.
I hope that this gives you a glimpse of me; an ordinary teenage girl thriving through high school. My life isn't perfect in any way, but nobodies is! Even though on social media people may seem perfect, but normally the only things posted are the happy parts of life. Everyone has struggles through life, nobody is alone. I hope that I am able to show the many different parts of my life and what I do to handle it. What I want people to take from my posts, is there is always a positive part of any situation. Stay positive and you will benefit in the end.
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